Q&A-Page1

Questions and Answers...

Have a question you want answered or want to see more?

or you can email them to RedsAdvice at beusa dot com and type Red 2006 in the subject line.

NOTE: By sending questions in to be answered, you are agreeing to have them posted here.

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Veta: I've seen your ad, can you kindly inform me how your L & R works? I'm kindly waiting for your reply..

Red: How this works is quite simple, if you have a question you want me to answer, send it in to me. I'll email you a response and post it here for others to learn from. When you are ready to get your love life together you can purchase my relationship Book and learn how to get off the roller coaster and find and start a solid, long lasting relationship that will make you happy.
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Daisy May: I've seen your ad and decided to drop you a line asking for help. My boyfriend of two years has left me for another woman. Can you help me get him back real fast. His name is Dale. I have had three relationships which was great and all went bad. Can you help me please? I need help quick!

Red: Why would you want him back? This is your third relationship that has apparently started out great and then went bad. My guess is that you give a lot in your relationships and don't attend to your own needs. This will make a man happy for a while, but then it makes it very easy to take you for granted. When you start a relationship, you need to start it with someone that is also working at making you happy. When we give too much, we tend to ignore our own needs. The three relationships you have had, this last one included, may not have lasted because they started with you sacrificing and giving without regard to yourself. You need to read my papers on how to look for and find someone who wants you too. Believe me, there is someone out there for you, who will want you for you and not just for what you will do for them. In your next relationship, be a little less giving and a little more selfish before it gets going, so you can know if he's in it for you too.

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Rechel: To whom it may concern, my name is Rechel and I have been having some problems with my husband to be. His name is Kelvin and he's a wonderful man and I love him dearly. We were suppose to get married, but he's changed so much since our daughter was born ten months ago. He's a great man and a wonderful father whenever he's home, but that's the problem, he's never home. He spends all his time on the golf course and none with us. I had it, so I left him. But I regret it now and I want him back. I'm not sure if he wants me, so could you help me to win him back, please? P.S. Please help me!

Red: The first thing you need to do is ask him, does he want you back?. Unless you are psychic or a mind reader you have to start with asking. The next thing to do is ask him what he wants from this relationship? Is there something that is keeping him away? The most common problem in failed relationships is that the people involved tend to talk to everyone except their partners. We can't find out what each other needs or wants if we are not talking with them. Relationships are work, and respect for each other. You have a child together, it is important that you guy's start talking and trying to work together to give each other what they need. You keep saying he's a wonder man and father, it sounds like you should be able to talk and start to work things out together, good luck and go ask him.

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Angie: I'm writing this letter for your help, I feel really lonely, I'm 15 years old. I have lots of sisters and each and everyone of them all have boyfriends except me and it makes me very sad. I'm sorry but I have no money to offer you, I just hope and prey you'll help me. I'm very strong in faith and I have my pride, maybe God will fill you up and just maybe you can help me because I'm running out of ways. So please try to understand every night I cry to God to help me to show me love and now I'm crying to you. Also please I'm not so good at this, I've never written to someone. My name is Angela, but they call me Angie. My birthday is October xx and I'm begging you for your help. Please tell me when I will find love and when I will love them back and I also want to know if I will be like my Mom and get a divorce? Please help me, oh... and the name of the person. Please answer me back, love always Angie.

Red: The first thing I have to tell you is that you sound like a perfectly normal and happy young lady, except one problem... you are in a hurry to grow up. At 15 you have more time then you will ever know to meet your dream man. I'm glad you have your faith in God, and I'm sure you find some comfort when you talk with him. Sometimes we try too hard to find love, and we can't see it when it is right in front of us. I would recommend that you try not to think about finding your true love so much right now. Concentrate on school and your friends, relax and start enjoying the company of your friends. Then as you relax and stop thinking and crying about being alone, you will find that you're not. As you go about your life, not worrying about love, it will find you. You will find out, that the reason you can't find it, is because your looking too hard for it!

Chrissy: Hi, my name is Chrissy. I'm 19 years old. I have a question for you. I would like you to read my question and write me back. I was wondering if a guy looks at you all the time, does it mean he likes you, or does he think you're pretty? I have another question for you, okay? Say like if a guy comes and tickles you by your sides, what does that mean? Well, that's all I have to say for now, could you please write me back? Sincerely yours, Chrissy.

Red: When a guy gives you lots of attention, he is expressing interest in you. Tickling is a form of play between two people who are attracted to each other. My guess is he likes you and wishes to explore a more personal relationship with you. Good luck.

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Chalena: I do have a question, as a matter of fact, I have two questions. I’m 19 years old and I am a lesbian born under the sign of Gemini. I’ve been with a woman for 2 years. The problem is I live in Texas and she lives in Mississippi. I use to live there until a couple of months ago. Anyways, back in August we broke up because of the fact that she found someone else. They broke up in February and we have called each other and are talking about getting back together. I love her dearly and she loves me very dearly too. Her family knows she’s a lesbian, my family knows I’m one too. Her family accepts it and my family does not. Anyway, how do I keep this woman in my life without letting anyone else take her? I would like to know “voodoo” if it would work. I really want our relationship to be like it was before (happy), but she say’s that she wants me to move back to Mississippi, but I don’t know, because I’m working. What should I do? I’m going crazy. Please help! and please respond.

Red: You’re working, you’re in another state, she left you for someone else, now she’s lonely and called you back. What do you think? You can’t use “voodoo”, or keep anyone else from taking her. You guy’s need to talk about what you both want, what you both are willing to give to the relationship and find out where she is really coming from. You have a whole life ahead of you and you will be meeting many people, if you are in love with her and can work things out good, if not, the sooner you move on, the sooner you will be free of the emotions that may prevent you from seeing someone that does love you the same. A relationship is a two way street, both partners have to give and work at it. If you would have read my papers, you’d have found out that it is very important not to just settle for what you can get. You need to “know” what you want and need, then find someone that will give it to you. There is someone out there for you. Go find them!

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Horace: I've written to lots of people for advice, I've done a lot trying to figure out where I keep going wrong in life. January I fell in love with a girl, a year later we broke up. I thought that after awhile that she was going to come back and try to work things out, but she hasn't called me yet. I know she use to love me, at least I thought she did. I still love her very much, I have been trying to reach her, I can't reach her. How can someone tell you that they love you, they love you for 11 months and one day their gone and that they are with someone else? This relationship has messed with my belief in God, God knows how much I love her. He knows that I’d do anything to get her back, but he doesn’t hear me. I pray, I cry, I’m able to forgive her for things she has done being confused. I want to get her back, it’s been two months since we broke up. Well she broke up with me, she hurt me bad. She’s hurting me, now she knows this, why she wants to be a devil I don’t know. She calls herself a Sunday school teacher, how can someone from God go around hurting people, some tell me she will never come back. What if I won the lottery? What if I became famous or whatever? I want to know what can I do to get her back, we had so much fun. I know her friends are jealous of us. It happens like this all the time, we once loved each other, I still do. Why can’t we get all this back, what’s in the way? Who is behind all of this evil, why do they want to hurt me and her? What can I do now to get things back rolling in our life? I was born in Jan. 3 xxxx and she was born in Jan. 29 xxxx. She is very special to me, I want to get her back, tell me what can I do? Please help me.

Red: The first thing I need to tell you is that there isn’t anyone trying to hurt you. God hasn’t forsaken you and it’s not the end of the world. It hurts when people fall out of love with us, we can’t reverse what happens and we can’t make someone love us. We can however learn and remember and move on. It isn’t always the reason, however it may be in this case. You are 33 years old and she is only 21, that is a 12 year gap in maturity, and life experiences. It probably ends up that she is just to young for you and was not able to relate to you well enough and has met someone she can now. Once a relationship has ended and someone else gets involved, it’s usually not reversible. The more you try to “get” her back, the less likely it is going to happen. It may just alienate you from her more. It is time to move on and look for someone new, there are lots of people out there, one of them is for you. If you don’t let her go and move on, you won’t see the one for you when you meet her. That would be truly sad. So get out there and go about your business, meet new people and just be yourself. If you don’t, you will miss the one that is really for you.

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Corrina: Red: Help, I have been married twice this is my second marriage and have been in this one for almost 7 years, we’re working on a divorce right now, I have fallen really hard for a guy that I work with, he is actually the bosses son, he is the total opposite of the type I date but very handsome, we have been seeing each other for about 3 weeks and well he has one big problem he likes to drink, when he drinks he's open and not so quiet as when he is sober, but we also end up fighting cause he does stupid things, we have decided to be friends but I still want more, tell me how this relationship is going and if I should move on? I have a hard time letting him go.

Red: I am assuming that this divorce is not because of your relationship with the Boss's son? I am also assuming that there are no children involved? Marriage, just like any other relationship, either at work with peers, with your kids or with a boyfriend... takes work to keep things on track and happy. Many sacrifices need to be made to make any relationship work. So far you have married twice, this man you said is the opposite of type you normally date. Since you have had poor luck with the type of men in your past, this may be a good change for you. However, I find it a red flag when in only three short weeks you are already having problems. Drinking is not a small problem and fighting although a normal function in any relationship, it is not a good sign so soon. You need to ask yourself this question; Have you ever been in a relationship that has gotten better later in the relationship than it was in the beginning? Most relationships go from a fantasy of good times to one of a more realistic reality where you have some problems and some arguments. Although it is normal to have arguments, with your new relationship having problems so soon, is a bad sign. You need to really consider whether or not the relationship will get better later, than in the beginning. If you have read my papers you will understand that it takes some time to get to know and learn who you are dating. In the beginning we are on our best behavior, if he is interested in you as a long term relationship he will be trying his best to make you happy. Either he isn't interested in long term or he isn't interested in your happiness to be starting the relationship like this. Remember a man shows his feelings by his actions, look for his true desires there and don't listen to his words. Good luck and listen with your eyes.

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Char: Dear Psychic - I am a 21 year old mother of 2. I am having a lot of financial problems. I was wondering if you could answer a few questions?1. Am I going to be coming into any money, if so, when? 2. Is my sister going to be able to have anymore children? 3. Is there a spirit living with me or my sister?
Red: First of all. I'm NOT a psychic, so I can't answer any of your questions... however I do seem to feel that there is a presence with your sister ; )

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Rita: Hi, Will I ever meet mister right? I never seem to be able to hold on to anyone. I'm tired of being alone. I'm a Gemini. I need all of the advice I can get, please help. Hope it won't be long before I meet someone special again. I want to be married again. Thanks for your help.

Red: Rita, slow down! First of all read my papers... follow the instructions on how to identify what you are really looking for. Remember, you don't HOLD on to someone, you become a couple through mutual understanding, interest and love. You need to re-assess your own importance, you as an individual who has value as a person. You were married once, take the time to make sure this next one is the RIGHT one. First comes friendship and understanding, then sharing and discovering, some dating and fun in there, and then if it's right - Love, then marriage. I want you to understand and believe that YOU have value and you don't have to HOLD on to anyone. There is someone that wants to HOLD YOU. Not hold on to you.

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Tut: hi. my name tut, and i'm from israel. 1. i have a problem of always wanting the wrong guy. i choose to love and want the one's that makes me feel really bad. 2. i had a boyfriend that I really loved, and he made me feel like a queen. one day i just took myself and left him, telling myself that the reason i left was that i'm not attracted to him... 3. now i got myself into a relationship that is really bad. i'm really attracted to this guy, the sex is great, but he makes me feel like i'm not good enough - and i try to please him all the time... i have totally lost myself in this relationship. 4. i don't know what to do... i feel sad and lonely. please try and help me.

Red: The first thing that you need to do is to try and understand that you are a very valuable and worthy human being. You have value and you have love that needs to be shared. We sometimes find that we tend to not have the confidence we need to be able to feel that we do not have to settle. There are millions of people in the world, thousands of people in our cities and hundreds in our neighborhoods. And in those masses of people are people that will love you and cherish you and treat you with respect and the love that you deserve.

You said that you always choose the wrong kind of guy, but you did not seem to be unhappy with the boyfriend that you left. You said he treated you like a queen. If you had been in the relationship for some time, you may have just gotten bored? It takes hard work to keep a relationship working, and most of all - it takes communication. To communicate, you need to understand what you need and want and expect, then you need to find out what your partner wants and needs and expects. Then you both have to try and understand each other and work with each other to help reach those needs and expectations.

If you can not get to a place where you can both be happy, then you need to have the strength to move on. However, you do not move on without working on the relationship. If you do, you will find that you are bouncing from one bad experience to another, never to find true happiness.

You say that you are in a really bad relationship right now, you have to decide if you want what is happening to continue, because it probably will, or if you want something better? Again - communication is critical in any relationship, if you both don't know and understand each other, then you can not try and please each other. If the relationship has any violence, it will probably get worse, do you want this? With any progression of a problem, each time it is accepted or tolerated, it grows stronger and stronger until it is in control. We can only be treated badly when we allow it to happen. It always starts slowly with very little things to test your reactions and most importantly, your acceptance. If you do not stop it, or if you remain in the relationship without addressing it - then you have given permission by your actions for it to continue.

If you can not discuss the abuse and find a happy solution, then you have only three choices; One, to accept that this is what is going to happen, and that it will get worse and live with it. Two, try and put a stop to it immediately and correct the action with the real warning that you will end the relationship if it happens again - and mean it! or Three, if you feel that challenging it will be dangerous to you, leave the situation before you're trapped in a life and death situation. Also remember, when things get bad, sometimes we pull friends and relatives into situations where they also get hurt. And in the worst of circumstances, we have children involved.

Remember, we all make the decisions that give us the lives that we live, good or bad – you decide. I really recommend that you ordered the papers that are on my site, it is a step by step instruction guide to finding true love.